,(align: "=><=")[''Flygskam Simulator'']
The human race is developing technologies at a rate you can't even fathom. The only constant in this ever-changing madness is the place where you now find yourself: the bus station. If it wasn't for the tiny screens every prospective passenger is staring at, this could be 1994, 1983, or even 1971.
You're sitting on one of the few seats by your departure door, surrounded by people and their mountains of luggage. A few eager travellers have started to form a little queue by the door, even though you doubt it will open for another twenty minutes.
[[Join the queue]]
[[Stay seated]]You stand and haul your backpack onto your shoulders. Immediately, someone swoops in and takes your seat. You move to the back of the queue and put your backpack on the ground in front of you. This might take a while.
Most people are quiet, their eyes fixed on their phones or the glass door. Through the large windows you can see buses coming and going while tired-looking drivers stand around in high-visibility vests, smoking or chatting. They're clearly not in a hurry. You silently chide yourself for leaving your precious seat.
After what feels like half an hour, a driver strolls over to the door. With the press of a button, the door is open and the queue surges forward.
[[Board the bus]]You take out your book, determined to look relaxed in the hope of tricking yourself into actually calming down. Why can't you just be one of those people who genuinely don't care about stuff like this? Someone who doesn't have to devote 80% of their brain power to worrying they should join the queue and the other 20% to trying to ignore the worries?
You manage to read about five pages over the course of half an hour, looking up after every paragraph to see if the queue is moving. Finally, the door opens and you hurry to shove your book in your bag and rush to the back of the now very large, very wide queue.
[[Board the bus]]You make it through the queue by the door only to end up in another one to stow your backpack in the luggage hold. A very grumpy man in a rumpled uniform shouts at a woman who had the temerity to put her suitcase in the hold without telling him where she was travelling to. He yells something in Dutch, she complains in French, and there's a thump as he throws her suitcase off the bus and onto the tarmac. Everyone in the queue winces.
Keen to avoid a similar spectacle, you obediently follow the man's instructions. With your backpack safely in the hold, you show your ticket to the driver and find your seat.
[[Sit down and get comfy]](set: $breakdown to true)A few minutes turns into half an hour. You and your fellow passengers sit on the thankfully dry grass by the layby while the driver pokes about in the engine and scratches his head. It takes him a full forty minutes to realise the radiator cap had fallen down behind some wires. Once the radiator is topped up and the engine is sufficiently cool, he lets you all back onto the bus. A couple of people cheer, but everyone else looks like they've had just about enough of this journey.
Back in your seat, you fall asleep almost instantly. That fresh air must have done you some good. (if: $hamburgBus is true)[You're woken by the bus coming to a stop once more. Better not have broken down again. The driver announces a brief rest stop while he takes his mandatory break. You're all allowed to leave the bus to use the loo or get something from the little shop.
[[Stay on the bus]]
[[Go stretch your legs]]](else:)[When you wake up, the bus is pootling along the bright, cycle-thronged streets of Rotterdam. It glides to a halt outside the train station.(set: $majorDelay to true)
[[This is your stop->Get off the bus 2]]]You're all instructed to have your passports and visas ready for inspection. You produce your slightly battered passport from your pocket and patiently wait your turn.
The agents make their way through the bus, smiling politely, making small talk with the sleepy passengers. For no apparent reason, your heart skips a bit while one of the agent looks at your passport. Why do you always feel like you're about to be caught out? You're not trying to hide anything. She smiles at your old haircut in your photograph and hands the passport back to you.
Everything seems to be in order. Thank goodness it only took a few minutes.(set: $borderChecked to true)
Once the bus is back on the move, your eyelids start to droop. (if: $hamburgBus is true)[You're woken by the bus coming to a stop once more. The driver announces a brief rest stop while he takes his mandatory break. You're all allowed to leave the bus to use the loo or get something from the little shop.
[[Stay on the bus]]
[[Go stretch your legs]]](else:)[You must have managed to get a couple of hours of shuteye, because you're already drawing up in front of Rotterdam station when you wake up.
[[Get off the bus->Get off the bus 2]]]You're all instructed to have your passports and visas ready for inspection. You produce your slightly battered passport from your pocket and patiently wait your turn.
The agents make their way through the bus, smiling politely, making small talk with the sleepy passengers. The smiles fade from their faces when they peer at the visas of the family sitting across the aisle from you. A mumbled conversation quickly turns to an angry exchange. Your language skills aren't sharp enough to follow what's going on, but it can't be good.
A couple of minutes later, the family are escorted from the bus. You can see them stood by the police car. One of the agents is talking to someone over her radio. You wait. And you wait. And you wait.
Finally, the agent talks to the driver, who gets out and removes what must be the family's luggage. The family look dismayed. The driver closes the door and you drive away. You watch the child being comforted by his crying mother until you can't see them anymore.(set: $borderBad to true)(set: $borderChecked to true)
(if: $hamburgBus is true)[You stare out of the window, wondering what the family will do. Eventually, the bus stops outside a small brick building. The driver announces a brief rest stop while he takes his mandatory break. You're all allowed to leave the bus to use the loo or get something from the little shop.
[[Stay on the bus]]
[[Go stretch your legs]]](else:)[The painful image keeps you awake all the way to Rotterdam.
[[Get off the bus->Get off the bus 2]]](if: $visitedToilet is false)[As the bus pulls up to some traffic lights, you think you'd better make the most of the temporary stability. Surely the bus will be at this busy junction for a while?
The guy in the seat next to you grumbles as he stands up to let you out, but at least he wasn't asleep yet.
You hurry down the narrow stairs and push open the toilet door. The smell is strong, but at least it's only the stench of cleaning products overzealously applied between journeys.
A minute later, you're all done and back in your seat again, just in time for the bus to lurch away from the junction.(set: $visitedToilet to true)
[[Try to sleep]]](else:)[Oh, actually, that was just wind. The guy in the seat next to you doesn't seem to have noticed. Phew.
[[You feel a bit snoozy->Try to sleep]]](if: $visitedToilet is false)[As the bus pulls up to some traffic lights, you think you'd better make the most of the temporary stability. Surely the bus will be at this busy junction for a while?
You hurry down the narrow stairs and push open the toilet door. The smell is strong. Looks like someone got here before you. Or was the bus not even cleaned since its last epic journey?
You hold your breath. A minute later, just as you're washing your hands, the bus lurches away from the junction, tipping you into the wall. You stumble back to your seat, rubbing your bruised shoulder. Ouch.(set: $visitedToilet to true)
[[Try to sleep]]](else:)[Oh, actually, that was just wind. The guy in the seat next to you doesn't seem to have noticed. Phew.
[[You feel a bit snoozy->Try to sleep]]](if: $switchedseatEvent is true)[You look round. A young woman is holding out a set of keys. Your keys. You must have dropped them. You reclaim them with a grateful smile.
[[You feel a bit sleepy->Try to sleep]].](else:)[The guy in the seat next to you wants your attention. A teenage girl is hovering in the aisle next to him, looking irritated.
He asks you if you'd mind switching seats, so he can sit with his daughter for the long journey. She doesn't exactly look thrilled with the idea, but it's also sweet of him to be protective.
[[Switch seats]]
[[Politely refuse]]](if: ($trafficJam is false) and ($crossedChannel is false))[You peer out of the window. Stretching out in front of the bus for what seems like miles is a long line of red tail lights. How could there be a traffic jam in the middle of nowhere? Well, there's nothing you can do about it, so you're going to have to try and relax.(set: $trafficJam to true)
[[Get some sleep->Try to sleep]].](else-if: ($breakdown is true) and ($hamburgBus is true))[Another delay? For goodness' sake! If you'd been flying, you would have been in Hamburg hours ago. You can only hope the queue of traffic in front of the bus will vanish somehow, or you're in trouble. Perhaps a bit of unconsciousness will help.(set: $majorDelay to true)
[[Try to sleep->Try to sleep 3]].](else-if: ($borderBad is true) and ($hamburgBus is true))[Another delay? For goodness' sake! If you'd been flying, you would have been in Hamburg hours ago. You can only hope the queue of traffic in front of the bus will vanish somehow, or you're in trouble. Perhaps a bit of unconsciousness will help.(set: $majorDelay to true)
[[Try to sleep->Try to sleep 3]].](else-if: $crossedChannel is true)[You look out of the window, dreading the sight of a traffic jam or huge flock of sheep in the road. Luckily, you're just stopped at a set of temporary traffic lights. You watch them turn green and the bus continues on its slow and steady way. What a relief.
[[Try to sleep->Try to sleep 3]].](else:)[There had better not be a traffic jam at this time of night. You peer out of the window. You can just about make out the cause of a delay. Illuminated by the bus's headlights, a mother duck and her ducklings are inching their way across the road. Awww. You can hardly be angry about that.
[[Try to sleep]].]
She explains that the wind has suddenly picked up, so you should expect a bumpy ride all the way to Calais. The announcement is met with a chorus of groans. Sure enough, the ship starts to lurch up and down. Each lurch is accompanied by the sounds of coffee cups falling over, glass bottles in the duty free shop rattling wildly together and, after half an hour or so, people trying to vomit discreetly into paper bags hastily distributed by the crew.
Instead of the relaxing crossing you were hoping for, you spend the rest of the journey with your headphones jammed in your ears and your eyes closed, hoping to block everything out. It's so effective that you almost miss the announcement to go down to the vehicle deck.
[[Get back on the bus]]{
<!-- Reset variables -->
(set: $visitedToilet to false)
(set: $crossedChannel to false)
(set: $romancedNeighbour1 to false)
(set: $majorDelay to false)
(set: $switchedSeats to false)
(set: $switchedseatEvent to false)
(set: $trafficJam to false)
(set: $breakdown to false)
(set: $borderBad to false)
(set: $hamburgBus to false)
(set: $borderChecked to false)
}
Where the hell is your passport? Didn't you have it in London? How have you managed to lose it between then and now?
Looks like you won't be making it to Hamburg just yet.
[[Try another journey->Board the bus - replay]]You're all instructed to have your passports and visas ready for inspection.
As the border agents make their way through the bus, smiling politely and making small talk with the sleepy passengers, you start to panic. The pocket where you usually stash your passport is empty. The only compartment in your bag where you might have put it contains nothing but your diary and a half-empty packet of tissues.
You quickly rummage through the rest of your bag and check your coat pockets. In desperation, you scrabble around under your seat and in the luggage rack.
[[Oh no->Random event 9 - forgotten passport]](set: $rEvent to (random: 1,6))(if: $rEvent is 4)[Uh oh, you knew you should have gone to the loo at the bus station. [[Better get up->Random event 4 - toilet visit good]].](else-if: $rEvent is 5)[Uh oh, you knew you should have gone to the loo at the bus station. [[Better get up->Random event 5 - toilet visit bad]].](else-if: $rEvent is 6)[You feel a [[tap on your shoulder->Random event 6 - switch seats]].](else:)[A window seat. Perfect. You should get to see some of London's bright lights on your way out of the city. You lean back, ready to relax.
[[Read]]
[[Watch some Netflix]]
[[Try to sleep]]](set: $rEvent to (random: 1,6))(if: $rEvent is 4)[Hmm, could a trip to the loo be in order? [[Better get up->Random event 4 - toilet visit good]].](else-if: $rEvent is 5)[Hmm, could a trip to the loo be in order? [[Better get up->Random event 5 - toilet visit bad]].](else-if: $rEvent is 6)[You feel a [[tap on your shoulder->Random event 6 - switch seats]].](else:)[You pull your book from your bag and continue from where you left off, looking up every now and then to watch the gloomy scenery slip by.
After a few chapters you find your mind wandering, so you put the book away.
[[Watch some Netflix]]
[[Try to sleep]]] (set: $rEvent to (random: 1,6))(if: $rEvent is 4)[Hmm, could a trip to the loo be in order? [[Better get up->Random event 4 - toilet visit good]].](else-if: $rEvent is 5)[Hmm, could a trip to the loo be in order? [[Better get up->Random event 5 - toilet visit bad]].](else-if: $rEvent is 6)[Uh oh, running low on battery. [[Time to plug in->Random event 10 - no power]].](else:)[You had low expectations of the on-board wifi, so you've downloaded a whole season of Queer Eye to enjoy on the journey.
Halfway through the first episode, you pause it and take out your headphones. What were you thinking? You knew you couldn't watch Queer Eye without sobbing your eyes out.
Better find something quieter to do.
[[Try to sleep]]] (set: $rEvent to (random: 1,6))(if: $rEvent is 6)[You open your eyes. Something is weird. Did the bus stop moving? [[Oh no->Random event 7 - traffic jam]].](else:)[You close your eyes and drift off into blissful, if slightly bumpy, sleep. When you wake up, the bus is on the outskirts of Dover's port. You look at the ferries lined up in the distance and wonder which one will be yours.
Finally, the bus pulls up. The driver's microphone buzzes as the people around you stretch and rub their eyes. You'll all have to go through passport control.
[[Get off the bus]]](set: $rEvent to (random: 1,6))You follow the other passengers off the bus and into a small building. The lights are far too bright. Don't they know what time it is? Two queues have formed in front of a couple of stern-looking border agents. You join the queue on the left, knowing it doesn't matter which one you choose. You always end up in the slowest queue, after all.
Everyone around you is clutching their passport. (if: $rEvent is 6)[You reach into your pocket. [[That's weird->Random event 9 - forgotten passport]].](else:)[You reach into your pocket, wrapping your fingers around that precious paper rectangle. When it's finally your turn, the border agent takes your passport, shrugs, and hands it back to you.
You all pile back onto the bus, which is then driven to the ferry waiting zone. Twenty minutes later, the bus rolls onto the ferry. Time for a couple of hours of freedom.
[[Explore the ferry]]](set: $rEvent to (random: 1,6))(if: $rEvent is 5)[Twenty minutes into the voyage, the ship's captain makes a special announcement. [[You listen closely->Random event 8 - rough crossing]].](else-if: $rEvent is 6)[Twenty minutes into the voyage, the ship's captain makes a special announcement. [[You listen closely->Random event 8.1 - rough crossing with sing song]].](else:)[It's hard to believe a ferry could be so busy in the middle of the night. Where are all these people going? Is there some sort of mass exodus from the UK you don't know about?
After twenty minutes of wandering around the passenger decks, you finally find a free seat. Might as well read to make the journey go faster. Six chapters later, everyone is asked to go back to their vehicles.
[[Get back on the bus]]](set: $crossedChannel to true)Everyone takes their seats, looking bleary eyed and as desperate for rest as you are. Most passengers reach for their neck pillows and eye masks, but you can't help staring out of the window.
How can they all be so blasé about being in a different country? You can't see very much beyond the illuminated motorway, but it feels almost disrespectful to France not to gaze at it as the countryside beyond Calais slips by. A yawn escapes your lips, but you're not sure if you're comfortable enough to sleep.
You realise you're sitting next to someone new. The other bloke must have switched seats after the ferry crossing.
[[Try to sleep anyway->Try to sleep 2]]
[[Play a game on your phone]]
[[Look at the guy sitting next to you ->Talk to your neighbour]](set: $rEvent to (random: 1,6))(if: $rEvent is 1)[Somehow you manage to drift off. A sudden bang jolts you from your slumber and you briefly wonder where on earth you are.
The bus pulls over into a layby just as steam starts pouring from the engine. The driver announces some technical difficulties and asks everyone to disembark for a few minutes while he assesses the problem. A passenger near the front asks why you can't all stay on the bus, but the driver just shakes his head. Something to do with a small risk of the bus exploding.
[[You reluctantly leave the bus->Random event 1 - breakdown]]](else-if: $rEvent is 2)[Somehow you manage to drift off. You're rudely awaken by the driver making an announcement as he slows the bus to a halt. You're not on the motorway anymore, but it's too early to be arriving at any of the scheduled stops. You peer out the window and see a police car pull up alongside.
[[Two police border agents board the bus->Random event 2 - border check good]]](else-if: $rEvent is 3)[Somehow you manage to drift off. You're rudely awaken by the driver making an announcement as he slows the bus to a halt. You're not on the motorway anymore, but it's too early to be arriving at any of the scheduled stops. You peer out the window and see a police car pull up alongside.
[[Two police border agents board the bus->Random event 3 - border check bad]]](else-if: $rEvent is 4)[Somehow you manage to drift off. You're rudely awaken by the driver making an announcement as he slows the bus to a halt. You're not on the motorway anymore, but it's too early to be arriving at any of the scheduled stops. You peer out the window and see a police car pull up alongside.
[[Two police border agents board the bus->Random event 3.1 - border check really bad]]](else:)[You wriggle about in your seat, wishing you'd been smart enough to pack a neck pillow. You pull a jumper out of your bag to use as a blanket, slip your shoes off, and lean your head against the window.
You must have managed to sleep for a while, because when you next open your eyes, sunlight is streaming in through the window. The bus pulls up in front of a distinctively pointy train station. Could this be Rotterdam?
[[You gather your things and step off the bus->Get off the bus 2]]]Even though you know it's the least sensible thing to do when you ought to be sleeping, you can't resist the siren call of checking on the two different idle games you're currently 'playing'. Oh, and you'd better not forget to take your turn in Wordfeud. And did you need to open a chest in that game with the cats?
An hour whizzes by, but you have to give up when your eyes start to get sore and the beginnings of a headache threaten to ruin the rest of the journey.
[[Try to sleep->Try to sleep 2]] (if: $crossedChannel is true)[You can just about reach the power socket above your seat with your charging cable. You plug in and get back to your viewing.
Five minutes later, your phone shuts off. What? Oh. The socket must be broken. You don't think your cable is long enough to reach any of the other sockets, and even if you could they are all in use. Great.
[[Try to sleep->Try to sleep 3]]
[[Look out the window]]](else:)[You can just about reach the power socket above your seat with your charging cable. You plug in and get back to your viewing.
Five minutes later, your phone shuts off. What? Oh. The socket must be broken. You don't think your cable is long enough to reach any of the other sockets, and even if you could they are all in use. Great.
[[Try to sleep]]](if: ($majorDelay is true) and ($romancedNeighbour1 is true))[This is where you're supposed to change to the second bus, the one that will take you all the way to Hamburg. You check the time, even though you already know what it will tell you. Yep, that bus was due to depart twenty minutes ago.
You look around, vaguely hopeful that the Hamburg bus was just as delayed, but there's no sign of it.
[[Who cares about the bus anyway?]]](else-if: $majorDelay is true)[This is where you're supposed to change to the second bus, the one that will take you all the way to Hamburg. You check the time, even though you already know what it will tell you. Yep, that bus was due to depart twenty minutes ago.
You look around, vaguely hopeful that the Hamburg bus was just as delayed, but there's no sign of it.
[[The bus is long gone]]](else-if: $romancedNeighbour1 is true)[This is where you're supposed to change to the second bus, the one that will take you all the way to Hamburg. You check the time. It's due to leave in five minutes, and you can already see the big green bus pulling into its spot outside the train station.
You'd better hurry. The guy you've been chatting with all night stands beside you, his suitcase by his feet. He's not going to Hamburg.
[[Take the Hamburg bus]]
[[Who cares about the bus anyway?]]](else:)[This is where you're supposed to change to the second bus, the one that will take you all the way to Hamburg. You check the time. It's due to leave in five minutes, and you can already see the big green bus pulling into its spot outside the train station.
You'd better hurry. But you can't resist dashing into the station to stock up on snacks. Oh, and you might as well fill up your water bottle while you're at it. By the time you're done, you have no choice but to run, as the driver is about to close the luggage compartment. Your backpack was definitely not designed for sprinting.
[[You just make it to the bus in time->Take the Hamburg bus]]]{
<!-- Reset variables -->
(set: $visitedToilet to false)
(set: $crossedChannel to false)
(set: $romancedNeighbour1 to false)
(set: $majorDelay to false)
(set: $switchedSeats to false)
(set: $switchedseatEvent to false)
(set: $trafficJam to false)
(set: $breakdown to false)
(set: $borderBad to false)
(set: $hamburgBus to false)
(set: $borderChecked to false)
}
Well, that's just great. You try to convince yourself that this could just as easily have happened if you'd flown to Hamburg via Amsterdam or whatever, but something about standing alone with your backpack on a windswept street is less comforting than being in a pack of grumbling flight passengers united against a bumbling airline in the relative comforts of an airport.
You sigh and collapse onto a nearby bench. Doesn't look like you'll make it to Hamburg today.
[[Try another journey->Board the bus - replay]] (set: $hamburgBus to true)(if: $romancedNeighbour1 is true)[With a heavy heart, you give your new friend a hug goodbye. He presses a piece of paper into your hand. His number. You can't help but grin as you dash over to the bus driver, the weight of your backpack barely able to dampen the spring in your step. Maybe you'll make a stop at Rotterdam on the way home.]
Sweating slightly from the exertion, you find your new seat and settle down for a few more hours of letting Europe drift by.
[[Read->Read 2]]
[[Watch some Netflix->Watch some Netflix 2]]
[[Try to sleep->Try to sleep 3]]{
<!-- Reset variables -->
(set: $visitedToilet to false)
(set: $crossedChannel to false)
(set: $romancedNeighbour1 to false)
(set: $majorDelay to false)
(set: $switchedSeats to false)
(set: $switchedseatEvent to false)
(set: $trafficJam to false)
(set: $breakdown to false)
(set: $borderBad to false)
(set: $hamburgBus to false)
(set: $borderChecked to false)
}What's the hurry, really? The bus is cheap, so you can always book a new trip to Hamburg. For old time's sake, you write one more text message to the guy who is now looking at you with a quizzical expression. He reads the message, looks you in the eyes, and nods.
Hand in hand, you leave the hustle and bustle of the bus stop behind you.
[[Try another journey->Board the bus - replay]] She explains that the wind has suddenly picked up, so you should expect a bumpy ride all the way to Calais. The announcement is met with a chorus of cheers, which surprises you. You look round and see some sort of coach party of elderly Brits has taken over most of the passenger lounge, and this seems to be the most exciting news they've had all day.
Sure enough, the ship starts to lurch up and down. Each lurch is accompanied by the sounds of coffee cups falling over, glass bottles in the duty free shop rattling wildly together and, after ten minutes or so, the unmistakable melody of 'Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag'.
The singing spreads and spreads, until the entire coach party is engaged in a full-on knees up. It's impossible not to get caught up in it, and you spend the rest of the journey doing your best to sing along. You're all making so much noise by the time the ship arrives, you almost miss the announcement to go down to the vehicle deck.
[[Get back on the bus]]You immerse yourself in a fantasy world for the next hour, and the time flies by as your sleepy mind tries to follow the twisty, turny plot.
As you excitedly turn the page, you realise there must only be a couple of chapters left. You'd rather save the rest of the book to keep you occupied through any unexpected delays. Hopefully you can swap it for something else when you get to Hamburg. Something in English, ideally.
[[Watch some Netflix->Watch some Netflix 2]]
[[Try to sleep->Try to sleep 3]] (set: $rEvent to (random: 1,6))(if: $rEvent is 1)[Uh oh, running low on battery. [[Time to plug in->Random event 10 - no power]].](else:)[Okay, time for something fun to help the time go by. You start browsing Netflix, looking for a quirky comedy to binge.
Twenty minutes later, you still haven't found anything to watch. That time did go quickly, though.
[[Try to sleep->Try to sleep 3]]
[[Look out the window]]](set: $rEvent to (random: 1,6))(if: ($rEvent is 1) and ($breakdown is false))[Steam starts billowing from the side of the bus. The driver announces a short stop while he investigates the problem. Everyone has to get off.
[[This can't be good->Random event 1 - breakdown]]](else-if: ($rEvent is 3) and ($borderChecked is false))[Your peaceful dosing is disturbed when you realise the bus has left the motorway. It's too early to be arriving at any of the scheduled stops. You peer out the window and see a police car pull up alongside.
[[A couple of police officers board the bus->Random event 2 - border check good]]](else-if: ($rEvent is 4) and ($borderChecked is false))[Your peaceful dosing is disturbed when you realise the bus has left the motorway. It's too early to be arriving at any of the scheduled stops. You peer out the window and see a police car pull up alongside.
[[A couple of police officers board the bus->Random event 3 - border check bad]]](else-if: ($rEvent is 5) and ($borderChecked is false))[Your peaceful dosing is disturbed when you realise the bus has left the motorway. It's too early to be arriving at any of the scheduled stops. You peer out the window and see a police car pull up alongside.
[[A couple of police officers board the bus->Random event 3.1 - border check really bad]]](else-if: ($rEvent is 6) and ($trafficJam is false))[You drift off into grateful slumber. Either you're getting better at sleeping on buses, or you're just too exhausted to stay awake.
Suddenly, you open your eyes.
[[You're not sure what made you wake up->Random event 7 - traffic jam]]](else:)[Your peaceful dosing is cut cruelly short by the driver announcing a brief rest stop while he takes his mandatory break. You're all allowed to leave the bus to use the loo or get something from the little shop.
[[Stay on the bus]]
[[Go stretch your legs]]](set: $rEvent to (random: 1,6))(if: ($rEvent is 1) and ($breakdown is false))[Steam starts billowing from the side of the bus. The driver announces a short stop while he investigates the problem. Everyone has to get off.
[[This can't be good->Random event 1 - breakdown]]](else-if: ($rEvent is 3) and ($borderChecked is false))[Watching the fields and trees glide by is strangely soothing. Your peaceful reverie is disturbed when you realise the bus has left the motorway. It's too early to be arriving at any of the scheduled stops. You peer out the window and see a police car pull up alongside.
[[A couple of police officers board the bus->Random event 2 - border check good]]](else-if: ($rEvent is 4) and ($borderChecked is false))[Watching the fields and trees glide by is strangely soothing. Your peaceful reverie is disturbed when you realise the bus has left the motorway. It's too early to be arriving at any of the scheduled stops. You peer out the window and see a police car pull up alongside.
[[A couple of police officers board the bus->Random event 3 - border check bad]]](else-if: ($rEvent is 5) and ($borderChecked is false))[Watching the fields and trees glide by is strangely soothing. Your peaceful reverie is disturbed when you realise the bus has left the motorway. It's too early to be arriving at any of the scheduled stops. You peer out the window and see a police car pull up alongside.
[[A couple of police officers board the bus->Random event 3.1 - border check really bad]]](else-if: ($rEvent is 6) and ($trafficJam is false))[Watching the fields and trees glide by is strangely soothing. You try to practise mindfulness while you have this wonderful opportunity. You think you must be doing really well, as time itself seems to be slowing down.
[[Oh wait, it's not time that's slowing->Random event 7 - traffic jam]]](else:)[Watching the fields and trees glide by is strangely soothing, and you drift off into daydreams for what seems like quite a while.
Suddenly, the driver announces a brief rest stop while he takes his mandatory break. You're all allowed to leave the bus to use the loo or get something from the little shop.
[[Stay on the bus]]
[[Go stretch your legs]]]You know you probably should get out and move around, but you're just too lazy to leave your seat. Besides, you've got plenty of snacks right here in your bag. Might as well treat yourself to another chocolate biscuit. Sure, there's palm oil in them, but the environmental impact of that is easily cancelled out by taking the bus instead of flying. Right?
Two biscuits and a little cognitive dissonance later, everyone is back on board.
[[Lean back as the bus pulls away->Get back on the bus 2]] (set: $rEvent to (random: 1,4))(if: $rEvent is 1)[You can't turn down an opportunity to move about a bit. You feel like you've been travelling for days, when it's only been... Well, less than a day, anyway.
After a brisk stroll around the little rest stop building, you head inside to use the loo. The queue is long, but you'd rather wait here than risk the WC on the bus.
Feeling refreshed, you go outside to rejoin your fellow passengers.
[[What the...?->Random event 11 - get left behind]]](else:)[You can't turn down an opportunity to move about a bit. You feel like you've been travelling for days, when it's only been... Well, less than a day, anyway.
After a brisk stroll around the little rest stop building, you head inside to use the loo. Miraculously, there's no queue, so you take the chance to wash your face in lovely cool water.
Feeling refreshed, you go outside to rejoin your fellow passengers.
[[Get back on the bus->Get back on the bus 2]]]It feels like you've been travelling through Germany for ages, so surely it can't be that long until you make it to Hamburg.
You're really looking forward to sleeping in a bed tonight.
[[Talk to your neighbour->Talk to your neighbour 2]]
[[Read->Read 3]]
[[Look out the window->Look out the window 2]]{
<!-- Reset variables -->
(set: $visitedToilet to false)
(set: $crossedChannel to false)
(set: $romancedNeighbour1 to false)
(set: $majorDelay to false)
(set: $switchedSeats to false)
(set: $switchedseatEvent to false)
(set: $trafficJam to false)
(set: $breakdown to false)
(set: $borderBad to false)
(set: $hamburgBus to false)
(set: $borderChecked to false)
}The bus. It's gone. It was right there and now... Nothing. A couple of smouldering cigarette butts on the ground are the only sign of recent life.
Well, that's not exactly how you expected the day to go.
[[Try another journey->Board the bus - replay]](set: $rEvent to (random: 1,4))(if: $rEvent is 1)[You turn to the woman in the seat next to you, brandishing your packet of chocolate biscuits. She smiles politely and takes a biscuit, devouring it in one big bite.
You can't help but grin. You offer her another one and tell her your name.
[[Get to know each other->Random event 12 - romancing the neighbour]]](else:)[You turn to the woman in the seat next to you, brandishing your packet of chocolate biscuits.
Unfortunately, she has her headphones in and her eyes closed. You haven't got the heart to wake her if she is sleeping.
[[Look out the window->Look out the window 2]]] Only a couple of chapters to go. It doesn't take you long to read them, but the conclusion of the story gives you plenty to think about.
[[Look out the window->Look out the window 2]] So this is Hamburg. You gaze at the grey, industrial landscape, wondering if you've made a mistake. Could this really be a city brimming over with wonderful art, music and food? You could have chosen to go anywhere in Europe, but this was the cheapest bus.
Your hopes start to rise as the bus moves closer to the city centre. The buildings get more interesting, more quirky. You pass a beautiful church. A lovingly landscaped garden. A busy street market. You tell yourself to be more open minded.
The bus stops right in the heart of the city. Finally.
[[Get off the bus->Get off the bus 3]]By the time the bus stops on the outskirts of Hamburg, you feel like you've known the woman in the seat next to you forever and the biscuits are long gone. While you enjoyed them together, you talked about your families, your homes, your hopes and dreams. You have so much in common with each other that it's almost spooky.
This is her stop, but you've exchanged contact info and promised to meet up during your stay. She knows a tapas place you're really going to love.
You wave to her as the bus pulls away towards its final destination.
[[Look out the window->Look out the window 2]] {
<!-- Reset variables -->
(set: $visitedToilet to false)
(set: $crossedChannel to false)
(set: $romancedNeighbour1 to false)
(set: $majorDelay to false)
(set: $switchedSeats to false)
(set: $switchedseatEvent to false)
(set: $trafficJam to false)
(set: $breakdown to false)
(set: $borderBad to false)
(set: $hamburgBus to false)
(set: $borderChecked to false)
}Yes! You made it to Hamburg!
Now where was that Airbnb again? You take out your phone and look up the address. It's funny to think that your holiday has only just begun.
THE END
[[Credits]]
[[Try another journey->Board the bus - replay]] Thank you for playing!
Designed and written by Katie Benson - find more of my interactive fiction on (link: "Itch.io")[(goto-url: 'https://katie-benson.itch.io/')]
Cover art photograph by Svend Hansen
Testing by Bettina Pedersen
[[Try another journey->Board the bus - replay]] (set: $switchedSeats to true)(set: $switchedseatEvent to true)You've been enjoying your window seat, but it really doesn't matter that much. Hopefully, you'll be sleeping for most of the journey. You nod in agreement and pack up your things. The dad is effusive in his thanks. The daughter...not so much.
But you're in luck. Your new seat is by the window too. Sometimes it pays to be nice.
[[Read]]
[[Watch some Netflix]]
[[Try to sleep]] (set: $switchedSeats to false)(set: $switchedseatEvent to true)You smile sweetly, but explain that you'd rather stay in your allocated seat. He returns your smile, but it doesn't quite meet his eyes. The daughter grins behind his back before dashing off to her seat, half a dozen rows away.
[[Read]]
[[Watch some Netflix]]
[[Try to sleep]]You nearly jump out of your skin when you see he is looking at you. No, not at you. At the view sliding past the window. He can't help but notice you staring at him. He smiles. It's a nice smile.
It would be lovely to talk to him. It feels like days since you last had a proper conversation. But you don't want to disturb the snoring travellers around you. And then you have an idea. A slightly odd one, maybe, but it will have to do.
You pull out your phone and start typing an SMS. A message to the guy next to you. But you don't need to send it. You just show it to him.
[[He smiles again]]Oh thank god. It would have been so awkward if he'd freaked out or ignored you. Instead, he takes out his own phone and types a message. He holds it out to you. Aw, how charming.
Together you pass the next few hours getting to know each other in this strange, peaceful way. As you both watch the sun rising over the far reaches of Belgium, you put your hand on his. He doesn't seem to mind.
You must have dosed off at some point, because the bus has stopped and he's tapping you gently on your arm. The sunlight is so bright you can hardly bear to open your eyes.(set: $romancedNeighbour1 to true)
[[This must be Rotterdam->Get off the bus 2]] {
<!-- Reset variables -->
(set: $visitedToilet to false)
(set: $crossedChannel to false)
(set: $romancedNeighbour1 to false)
(set: $majorDelay to false)
(set: $switchedSeats to false)
(set: $switchedseatEvent to false)
(set: $trafficJam to false)
(set: $breakdown to false)
(set: $borderBad to false)
(set: $hamburgBus to false)
(set: $borderChecked to false)
}You show your ticket to the driver and find your seat.
[[Sit down and get comfy]]
↶↷Flygskam Simulator
The human race is developing technologies at a rate you can't even fathom. The only constant in this ever-changing madness is the place where you now find yourself: the bus station. If it wasn't for the tiny screens every prospective passenger is staring at, this could be 1994, 1983, or even 1971.
You're sitting on one of the few seats by your departure door, surrounded by people and their mountains of luggage. A few eager travellers have started to form a little queue by the door, even though you doubt it will open for another twenty minutes.
Join the queue
Stay seated